everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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