Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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