I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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