I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I would ride that face into the sunset
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize