I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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