don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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