I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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