dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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