so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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