If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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