Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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