Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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