drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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