There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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