We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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