I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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