I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
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