I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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