We named our party play list daddy issues
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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