My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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