come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
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Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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