I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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