the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize