I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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