Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
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My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
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