I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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