I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize