Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize