No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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