Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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