My pussy is not your playground.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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