Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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