Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize