Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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