I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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