if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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