Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize