But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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