To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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