can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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