Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
no you cant smoke seaweed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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