I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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