i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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