I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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