dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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