Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize