i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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