I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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