weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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