sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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